As we celebrate the Pride 2024, I have some thoughts.

In 1986, I moved from Cleveland to Chicago. I chose an apartment at Belmont and Sheridan. It checked some boxes: parking for my car, public transport and was across from path along Lake Michigan.

I soon learned I had moved into the Boys Town neighborhood of Chicago. An area known for being gay-friendly. I grew up and went to college in Cleveland. I don’t think I had met an out, gay person until I moved to Chicago.

As I was walking in the neighborhood, a street outreach volunteer from STOP AIDS Chicago approached me. They told me about their HIV/AIDS prevention programming. I was soon hosting meetings in my apartment. During my fundraising career, I worked for many organizations supporting the gay community - most on the front lines of HIV/AIDS work.

I had no family or friends in Chicago. I quickly made them in my new neighborhood. They told me they had left or been thrown out of their homes when they came out. They left homes in Atlanta, Boston, Dallas and elsewhere to come to Chicago.

They shared the concept of “chosen family”. I was honored to be included in our family holiday and birthday celebrations. We formed chosen family groups that supported our ups and downs. This became especially important as some of my friends and their partners were diagnosed with HIV and later AIDS.

Remember this was the late 80’s, HIV/AIDS prevention and care was inconsistent, not available or seen as a death sentence in the medical community.

We helped each other as friends tried new meds or to enter clinical trials, found doctors willing to fight HIV/AIDS with them, managed symptoms and managed AIDS related illnesses.  We also planned celebrations of life. Too many died as the FDA, medical and pharmaceutical industries didn’t work fast enough to find solutions. We faced many challenges and having our family allowed us to lean on each other.

Today we have access to Pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) and HIV/AIDS pharmaceutical “cocktails”. These provide prevention from HIV infection and those with HIV and AIDS can live long(er) lives. We watched HIV/AIDS go from a death sentence to a chronic illness that attacked each person differently.

I learned what it meant to be an ally - we were just called friends back in the day. I believe deeply in equality and that every person anywhere has the right to live their life and truth. No one has the right to question anyone’s lifestyle. I don’t wait for Pride month to tell my friends (gay or not) I love them. I stand in gap for them and serve as an ally anytime, anywhere.

I invite you to join me as an ally. Volunteer with a group in your city, make a donation to a nonprofit supporting gay rights, stand up when someone is being mistreated. No one said it will be easy but your heart knows being an ally is the way to be. Hug the ones you love.