Retirement Travel: A Drive Between Housesits with Time to Think
Driving between housesits, I took my time from Newport Beach to Marin County. I love driving along the Pacific Coast Highway (PCH), and avoided LA traffic! Winning!
As I was preparing to leave, the news of Senator Feinstein’s death came on the news. Being in California, the local stations dug deep telling stories of her long service to the city of San Francisco and state of California. She lived a good, long life, passing at 90 and the oldest serving female senator.
There is a lot of conversation about the elders in the US Senate. Are they serving their constituents? Yet not willing to step aside and retire. Senator Feinstein had more than 40 years of service. This last year was not her best. She was not in good health and held up the work of the Senate. More importantly, all the accolades I heard on the radio were given posthumously. She didn’t hear any of it. We did not get the opportunity to send her off with the thanks she deserves while she was alive. Too little too late? At what point in our aging process do we lose sight that the end is closer than we think?
After enough live, repetitive radio, I started listening to This American Life podcast. Randomly, it was a repeat from 2021 called Ends of the Earth. How far we will go for those we love? Amy Bloom’s book In Love: A Memory of Love and Loss shares her experience with assisted suicide. Yes, a tough subject. Yes, I cried and you may too. Amy’s story is poignant, dignified, and brave. I think deciding when, where and how to die should be our choice and ours alone. You can buy Amy’s book or listen to the audio book. That may be enough.
Growing up I learned not to fear death. In my Jewish upbringing, sitting shivah for seven days after someone died was what we did. I asked my Mom why? Her response was,
We are dying from the moment we are born.
The purpose of shivah is to support and help those who are still alive.
Your job is to be yourself and remind them that life goes on.
This informed my view of death and dying. I have friends who survived cancer treatment, gone in and out of remission and some who we loved enough to say goodbye. Other friends have lived very long lives of 80+ years. But the quality of life the last 10—15 years were hard with failing health, minds, and bodies. I have watched and supported friends who died of AIDS, cancer and natural causes too early and too late.
As I age, with fewer years ahead me than behind, death and dying comes to mind. I don’t fear death, I just want it to be quick, painless, and easy.
Between Senator Feinstein’s passing and Amy Bloom sharing the story of the legal and assisted suicide of her husband - death was on my mind as I drove for the next few hours. The ocean and road ahead was both inspirational and meditative.
